Comments on: Beautiful Boy: My Answer to David’s Question

By: Josh Singleton

Josh Singleton — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 04:09:14 +0000

Thank you so much for addressing the trauma that family members and friends face as a result from observing a loved one struggle through addiction. Many times these people are overlooked with all of the attention being focused on the person suffering from the addiction. Family and friends can be the concealed victims and may face more trauma than the person struggling through the addiction issues. For me personally it is often more difficult to watch a loved one go through pain and have that helpless feeling of wishing you could take the pain from them instead. I’m sure many other people feel the same. Recognizing the trauma loved ones endure is a really important topic and it was inspirational to hear you recognize this and offer explanations to address these concerns.

By: admin

admin — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:59:42 +0000

Thanks for the feedback and encouragement to read Tweak – I will get to it

By: Todd Pierce

Todd Pierce — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:54:38 +0000

Sir:

I truly found value in your insight of beautiful boy. Can’t for the life of me figure why you haven’t read Tweak yet. We’re all busy, but this is our lives, and the story is required reading.

By: admin

admin — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 04:54:10 +0000

Melissa, thanks for the feedback and insights from Tweak. I have yet to read it, but it remains on my list!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 04:50:26 +0000

In response to having read Nic Sheff’s book, TWEAK, myself, I support your theories of overcoming addictions and see the examples clearly in his story. First off, Nic never seemed to have a healthy relationship with his parents. His mother and father divorced when he was a relatively young age which was the first step to the unstable parenting he was exposed to. While David tried to be the best father to his son by also being his best friend, this in contrast seemed to force Nic to become more responsible and independent than his age and he claims in his book how he never truly had the chance to just be a kid. Turning away from the parental relationships he had, Nic found drugs to be a way to escape to a state of child-like behavior where he felt free of pressures and able to not care about his status around his fathers friends. Obviously, this lead to the break down of Nic and Davids relationship, strengthening the connection to drugs by each use.
The fourth of five steps in your plan of actions to overcome all addictions was also observed towards the end of Nic’s book when he checked into his last rehab. At this rehab, they had sesseions for Nic to reexperience the hurt he went through in the past that had been surpressed. He had to resolve his adverse childhood experiences instead of dislocate himself from the pain and troubles. After each of these sessions, Nic seemed to have a better understanding of what lead him to improper use of drugs and a greater appriciation for the sober way of living and the positives in his current life.

By: Tanya

Tanya — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 21:49:01 +0000

I have just finished reading Beautiful Boy last night; I picked up the book at the local library after I read Tweak for one of my classes as I really wanted to hear Nic’s fathers side of the story.
Both books saddened and even angered me in some parts. I really feel for Nic and his struggle, but David’s too – I can not even start to imagine what it would be like to go through that, hope that every time would be his last time using, live in fear that the next phone call would tell you that your child is dead. I am really glad than Nic has been sober for a while now!
I loved Beautiful Boy because of David’s perspective, because we not only learned about Nic’s journey through addiction, but also about his childhood. I loved that David not only wrote about Nic, their history and struggle, but also offered some information about the drug and some research.
One point in particular has made me mad, though. Nic’s been battling this “disease” for a while, David writes how big of a heartache it has been, but yet, he accepts a joint from Nic and they smoke together. It made me want to scream.
My advice to anyone reading this book is to pick up Nic’s book as well. The two books perfectly complete each other.

By: RH

RH — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:35:07 +0000

About two years ago, I read and enjoyed both “Beautiful Boy” and “Tweak,” but for very different reasons. I first read “Beautiful Boy” and then went immediately into “Tweak.” It was a little overwhelming going from one straight into the other, but I wanted to read “Tweak” while “Beautiful Boy” was fresh in my mind.

The books were very different stylistically (the cover and interior designs, and even the font choices, represented the authors’ different voices, points of view, and goals). What was difficult for me was that the Nic in my mind was the Nic that David Sheff paints for us in “Beautiful Boy.” Even though he feels immensely frustrated with, hurt by, and at times hopeless about his son, David always preserves some notion of Nic as that beautiful boy that he loves. And that’s who he was in my mind, too. But when I began to read “Tweak,” I was blindsided by the way Nic sees himself: not at all the beautiful son his father sees. It was frustrating, confusing, and created a lot of cognitive dissonance for me as the reader. In a way, I wish I’d read Nic’s story first. But even though it was challenging to process this sharp contrast, maybe it was useful to see.

In terms of what I valued about each book, I appreciated David’s macro-level approach, so that he was using his own personal story as a jumping off point to address the national and even global issue of methamphetamine addiction and the systems that attempt to address it. I saw him using the medium of journalism in a socially responsible way, and I know a lot of families have found great comfort and community in his story and in his research.

Nic’s book was much more about his own experience. It was an extremely self-centered piece of writing, which makes sense based on his addiction. This was frustrating for me at times; but ultimately, I came to value it because he gives us a raw, honest look into the inner life of an addict—a perspective that, if not for his writing, many of us would never see.

Ultimately, I see each as needing and validating the other. David’s larger, sometimes societal-level perspective broadens the scope and lets us see the issue in a systems way. Nic’s story gives us the perspective of the person who is at the center of the system. From family members to counselors to the neuroscientists who study the addict’s brain, we are all orbiting around this person and can learn something from seeing the world through his lens.

By: CCJO-ecordone

CCJO-ecordone — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 03:18:08 +0000

I am a student at PSU and chose to read Beautiful Boy for my Drug Education class.
I do not have any direct experience with substance abuse and feel that my knowledge is limited. However, after reading the book I think that David did everything he could to nurture his child. I am sad that Nic’s mother chose to relocate far away from her son: I am sure Nic was negatively impacted by his mother’s decision. While some children of divorced parents end up using drugs, divorce per se is not a gateway to drugs. I feel that Nic is very fortunate to have a father who had the financial ability to afford all the treatment programs that Nic attended. However, treatments are reactive strategies to a chronic condition that includes lapses and relapses along the way. Drug addiction is without a doubt a complex issue and factors such as peer pressure, genetics, personality traits, or the environment play a role in one’s route to addiction. However, I also believe in willpower and one’s determination to change. My sons’ kung fu instructor is the perfect example: he changed his life around. Is he the exception to the rule?

By: Katie Lynett

Katie Lynett — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 12:10:22 +0000

I think that it is interesting that David had the insight to realize that addiction is a chronic condition that requires long-term treatment/support. I guess I always knew that addiction was something that never really “went away” but before starting class, I never really thought of it as a chronic illness that needed to be managed like diabetes.

Also as I read this I could not help but think of the complexity of addiction because it seems that there are numerous systems within systems. Not only are there the various factors that influenced the individual to develop addiction, but then there is the affect that there is on the family/treatment they will need. Then there is the addiction treatment system. All these exist within the macrosystem of society which influences and interacts wit all of these. This amounts to a very messy and complex situation.

By: admin

admin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:41:00 +0000

Emily, thanks for feedback and question. I think many are now understanding that addiction is a “chronic” condition, but we should realize that just like most things in life, there are many shades of gray to chronic. I continue to believe that both the fields of addiction and chronic medical illness can benefit from each other by combining wisdom from their respective fields.

I am sorry to say that since my post in January I have not read Tweak, but I still plan to in the near future – thanks for the reminder. As to your question, what comes after management of addiction and resolving the root causes? Create. You are absolutely right that only working on the pathological side of the equation is not enough. To solve the problem of addiction, people need to go beyond management and resolution work and figure out what they want to create in life. The forces of creation are powerful, and if people do not engage in life in a meaningful way and find purpose (and nurturing relationships), then long-term success from addiction is challenging.