Comments on: Confessions of a (Tiger) sex addict?…helping out CNN and the rest of the media http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/ Solving the problem of addiction Wed, 16 May 2012 14:48:47 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Jeremy http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-2655 Jeremy Tue, 06 Mar 2012 07:23:59 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-2655 I think the idea of sex addiction is an easy an easy out. Because these people have obviously done something that has in turn put a great amount or a perceived great amount of guilt on them. So the simple confession is that "it's not my fault!" The interesting part of that news broadcast is how the male news anchor was so quick to label tiger as being wrong or irresponsible. Just because Tiger is a sexual being does not make him wrong or irresponsible. The fact that he was married makes his actions irresponsible. So why not just label him a liar instead of going so far as to label him a sex addict? Maybe Tiger never really wanted to get married but it's due to societal norms that caused him to go through with the ceremony. I'm not saying that I'm against this more "traditional" way of pursuing relationships. But why hasn't anyone tried to dig deeper into the biology humans and realize that we are indeed mammals that have a larger area of the brain connected to pleasure sensors and these sensors are heavily activated during sexual arousal. Unfortunately with America being born out of a puritan society has led modern society to forget that being sexual in nature can be very normal. Which the only normal thing that the anchors seemed to talk about was the fact that they didn't agree on sex addiction as a disability itself but that it was a part of a tick or compulsive disorder. I think the idea of sex addiction is an easy an easy out. Because these people have obviously done something that has in turn put a great amount or a perceived great amount of guilt on them. So the simple confession is that “it’s not my fault!” The interesting part of that news broadcast is how the male news anchor was so quick to label tiger as being wrong or irresponsible. Just because Tiger is a sexual being does not make him wrong or irresponsible. The fact that he was married makes his actions irresponsible. So why not just label him a liar instead of going so far as to label him a sex addict? Maybe Tiger never really wanted to get married but it’s due to societal norms that caused him to go through with the ceremony. I’m not saying that I’m against this more “traditional” way of pursuing relationships. But why hasn’t anyone tried to dig deeper into the biology humans and realize that we are indeed mammals that have a larger area of the brain connected to pleasure sensors and these sensors are heavily activated during sexual arousal. Unfortunately with America being born out of a puritan society has led modern society to forget that being sexual in nature can be very normal. Which the only normal thing that the anchors seemed to talk about was the fact that they didn’t agree on sex addiction as a disability itself but that it was a part of a tick or compulsive disorder.

]]> By: admin http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-2599 admin Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:48:03 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-2599 I agree that addiction is an overused term and very often incorrectly used. For better or worse, it is a term that most recognize and the challenge is educating people about the true nature of addictive disorders. Unlike other chronic, relapsing conditions (asthma, diabetes, hypertension), there is tremendous stigma attached to addiction that keeps many people from seeking help and dealing with the shame that is so much a part of the disorder. In our current fast-paced, quick-fix, social media world, addiction will continue to thrive until we begin to understand the societal implications of the problem. Check out: http://addictionmanagement.org/2011/02/interview-with-dr-bruce-alexander/ Thanks for your comment - J I agree that addiction is an overused term and very often incorrectly used. For better or worse, it is a term that most recognize and the challenge is educating people about the true nature of addictive disorders. Unlike other chronic, relapsing conditions (asthma, diabetes, hypertension), there is tremendous stigma attached to addiction that keeps many people from seeking help and dealing with the shame that is so much a part of the disorder. In our current fast-paced, quick-fix, social media world, addiction will continue to thrive until we begin to understand the societal implications of the problem. Check out: http://addictionmanagement.org/2011/02/interview-with-dr-bruce-alexander/

Thanks for your comment -

J

]]> By: Jessica Harding http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-2598 Jessica Harding Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:50:22 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-2598 It is amazing how almost anything can be named an addiction, and how carelessly people seem to throw that word around. "I'm addicted to chocolate," "I'm addicted to this TV-show," "I'm addicted to buying shoes." It seems that if we say that we are addicted to something it almost takes away some of our responsibility. I cant control my chocolate consumption, because I'm addicted. But it's not my fault, because I'm ADDICTED. I am not exactly sure where I stand on the subject of sex addiction. Is it real, is it not? But as you pointed out in your blog post, perhaps that is not the important or necessary question to ask. The most important thing is that people who feel that they have an addiction to sex get help. Because whether it's considered an addiction or not, they are suffering, and so are their families. However, if we could stop calling so many things an addiction, perhaps people would be taken more seriously when they do have an actual serious compulsive problem. It is amazing how almost anything can be named an addiction, and how carelessly people seem to throw that word around. “I’m addicted to chocolate,” “I’m addicted to this TV-show,” “I’m addicted to buying shoes.” It seems that if we say that we are addicted to something it almost takes away some of our responsibility. I cant control my chocolate consumption, because I’m addicted. But it’s not my fault, because I’m ADDICTED.

I am not exactly sure where I stand on the subject of sex addiction. Is it real, is it not? But as you pointed out in your blog post, perhaps that is not the important or necessary question to ask. The most important thing is that people who feel that they have an addiction to sex get help. Because whether it’s considered an addiction or not, they are suffering, and so are their families.

However, if we could stop calling so many things an addiction, perhaps people would be taken more seriously when they do have an actual serious compulsive problem.

]]> By: PHE 326 Student (fall2011) http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-2580 PHE 326 Student (fall2011) Mon, 21 Nov 2011 07:07:17 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-2580 I would like to start by highlighting the remark that addiction is complex and that by only drawing public awareness to the bias opinion of the media is such a tainted portrayal of addiction. There are so many different and outstanding complexities within the world of addiction and to simply dispense bias opinions created by (generally) uneducated reporters is ruining the minds of the mass-public viewers of our society. Our culture has become one that is so dependent upon technology that our minds have become shaped by the upper-elite class who controls those methods of technology that spread across our nation. When we become so reliant on television and other technologies that dispense news (e.g. the Tiger Woods story) we believe whatever we hear because our brains have become to lazy to develop our own means to knowledge and understandings. If an individual within our society REALLY wanted to gain knowledge regarding Tiger Woods' addiction, they would FIRST conduct secondary research studies on Sex Addiction and its' effects on marriages and father-child relationships (depending on what specifics interest them) and THEN they would be able to create their own opinion on how his addiction may have effected his personal life... however, I do not know anyone who would care to do that much research unless they have a direct relation to him. My point being, society is lazy and would rather believe the simple and bias facts presented in the media than go through the process of gaining their own understandings through their personal research. Thus, creating a society that is judgmental and "dummed down". In my opinion, it would be just the same thing to say anyone suffering from addiction is a bad person or stupid for throwing their life away for something as "simple" as addiction. I have never known anyone that has wanted to become addicted to something as harmful as sex, drugs, or alcohol... it is a disease. Just like no one I know would wish to get cancer or A.S.... to me, it is the same thing for any kind of addiction. I would like to start by highlighting the remark that addiction is complex and that by only drawing public awareness to the bias opinion of the media is such a tainted portrayal of addiction. There are so many different and outstanding complexities within the world of addiction and to simply dispense bias opinions created by (generally) uneducated reporters is ruining the minds of the mass-public viewers of our society.
Our culture has become one that is so dependent upon technology that our minds have become shaped by the upper-elite class who controls those methods of technology that spread across our nation. When we become so reliant on television and other technologies that dispense news (e.g. the Tiger Woods story) we believe whatever we hear because our brains have become to lazy to develop our own means to knowledge and understandings. If an individual within our society REALLY wanted to gain knowledge regarding Tiger Woods’ addiction, they would FIRST conduct secondary research studies on Sex Addiction and its’ effects on marriages and father-child relationships (depending on what specifics interest them) and THEN they would be able to create their own opinion on how his addiction may have effected his personal life… however, I do not know anyone who would care to do that much research unless they have a direct relation to him. My point being, society is lazy and would rather believe the simple and bias facts presented in the media than go through the process of gaining their own understandings through their personal research. Thus, creating a society that is judgmental and “dummed down”.
In my opinion, it would be just the same thing to say anyone suffering from addiction is a bad person or stupid for throwing their life away for something as “simple” as addiction. I have never known anyone that has wanted to become addicted to something as harmful as sex, drugs, or alcohol… it is a disease. Just like no one I know would wish to get cancer or A.S…. to me, it is the same thing for any kind of addiction.

]]> By: Sylvia http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-2230 Sylvia Mon, 27 Jun 2011 23:07:25 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-2230 "...addiction is about relationships." I think Dr. F says it all right there. I had a really hard time listening to the male reporter in the CNN video. Trying to understand an addiction that you don't even believe exists is impossible when you are close minded. Saying that sex addiction doesn't exist, to me, is an example of close mindedness, which is hindering our progression in understanding addiction. You can't shun one addiction and glorify another just because it doesn't make sense to you; yet it is done. Being open about the relationship, not the subject, seems to me to be key in understanding addiction. “…addiction is about relationships.”

I think Dr. F says it all right there.

I had a really hard time listening to the male reporter in the CNN video. Trying to understand an addiction that you don’t even believe exists is impossible when you are close minded. Saying that sex addiction doesn’t exist, to me, is an example of close mindedness, which is hindering our progression in understanding addiction. You can’t shun one addiction and glorify another just because it doesn’t make sense to you; yet it is done. Being open about the relationship, not the subject, seems to me to be key in understanding addiction.

]]> By: PV http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-980 PV Tue, 07 Dec 2010 04:11:44 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-980 I cannot help but respond to this article as a product of my own celebrity obsession (addiction? That is another discussion…). While I was unable to get the video to play, I think it is an important reminder that the DSM is also socially constructed, as are addictions, and that it doesn’t have to be in the DSM to be causing destruction to your self, family, career, etc. as Tiger’s situation clearly has. Also, the point that under any addiction is a package of issues that are the root of the addiction itself. He could have manifested his addiction in many other ways; in this case it just happened to be sex. It is also interesting that you point out that he probably manifested unhealthy internal energy into high-level sports. Another tie to my brother, like a light bulb in my head: he rowed for the Junior Olympics and in the Henley. Destined for greatness he crashed and burned freshman year of college. We thought it was the stress of high-level competition; all the while it was probably his mental illness that allowed him to be so good. It is amazing how quick we jump to tear down someone in a privileged position. Why do we gain satisfaction from his failures? Why do we say “Look at how messed up his life is”? Thank you Dr. Fitzgerald for bringing a little humility to the situation. For treating his as you would a client. I cannot help but respond to this article as a product of my own celebrity obsession (addiction? That is another discussion…). While I was unable to get the video to play, I think it is an important reminder that the DSM is also socially constructed, as are addictions, and that it doesn’t have to be in the DSM to be causing destruction to your self, family, career, etc. as Tiger’s situation clearly has. Also, the point that under any addiction is a package of issues that are the root of the addiction itself. He could have manifested his addiction in many other ways; in this case it just happened to be sex. It is also interesting that you point out that he probably manifested unhealthy internal energy into high-level sports. Another tie to my brother, like a light bulb in my head: he rowed for the Junior Olympics and in the Henley. Destined for greatness he crashed and burned freshman year of college. We thought it was the stress of high-level competition; all the while it was probably his mental illness that allowed him to be so good.
It is amazing how quick we jump to tear down someone in a privileged position. Why do we gain satisfaction from his failures? Why do we say “Look at how messed up his life is”? Thank you Dr. Fitzgerald for bringing a little humility to the situation. For treating his as you would a client.

]]> By: Carissa http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-920 Carissa Mon, 15 Nov 2010 07:05:56 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-920 Addiction itself, especially sex addiction, is something that has always pulled me in two different directions. On one hand, I know that there have been life events (ACEs, poor peer/ parental relationships, etc) that have lead someone down the road to addiction. On the other hand, a part of me still feels like there was a distinct choice that lead to the addiction and that there is a point when we need to hold someone accountable for their actions. Often when I hear the term "sex addict" I find it being used as an excuse for someone's adulterous actions, however this shows me that I have fallen down the same hole that the reporters have fallen down: I'm focusing on the object and not on the relationship. Over the duration of this class I've started to realize that fully understanding addiction means that I will have to completely transform everything I've learned and believed about addiction in the past. This article also made me think about addiction and power. I have a family member who is a sex addict and, at least from what I know, it is not a co-dependent addiction (he does not drink or do drugs while pursuing sex). However, he does seem to have a huge need for power and constantly seeks out female companions to demonstrate his "power" and dominance. Many addicts seem to develop their addiction due to feeling powerless and they use their objects of addiction to help them gain power. As therapists, we try to help empower our clients so that they can lead fulfilling lives. What do we do then, if power is what a person is addicted to? Addiction itself, especially sex addiction, is something that has always pulled me in two different directions. On one hand, I know that there have been life events (ACEs, poor peer/ parental relationships, etc) that have lead someone down the road to addiction. On the other hand, a part of me still feels like there was a distinct choice that lead to the addiction and that there is a point when we need to hold someone accountable for their actions. Often when I hear the term “sex addict” I find it being used as an excuse for someone’s adulterous actions, however this shows me that I have fallen down the same hole that the reporters have fallen down: I’m focusing on the object and not on the relationship. Over the duration of this class I’ve started to realize that fully understanding addiction means that I will have to completely transform everything I’ve learned and believed about addiction in the past.

This article also made me think about addiction and power. I have a family member who is a sex addict and, at least from what I know, it is not a co-dependent addiction (he does not drink or do drugs while pursuing sex). However, he does seem to have a huge need for power and constantly seeks out female companions to demonstrate his “power” and dominance. Many addicts seem to develop their addiction due to feeling powerless and they use their objects of addiction to help them gain power. As therapists, we try to help empower our clients so that they can lead fulfilling lives. What do we do then, if power is what a person is addicted to?

]]> By: Fall 2010 Student http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-899 Fall 2010 Student Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:20:59 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-899 The topic of Tiger Woods and his sex addiction has almost sickened me over the past year. My attitude is a result from the media and the never-ending opinions and judgments that come from all angles. It seems that as humans we are meaning making machines: if we don’t understand something we will do anything in our power to make sense of it. Along with that aspect and the fact that our society thrives off of the “sound bite” and beating someone while they’re down Tiger’s sex addiction caused many of us to express our opinion. Like you mentioned, the problem is that not very many people have spent time to understand the meaning of addiction. I agree and believe that media issues like these are so influential only because so many of us are facing similar problems. I also agree that we all have dealt with some struggles at some point in our life and as a result we might have engaged in excessive behaviors to help us cope. How far we go and what we do are all a recipe individually customized to our own lives and circumstances. Passing judgment as to why Tiger did what he did and if it really is an addiction is just as ridiculous as me having hope people would stop being so opinionated. Opinion is part of our nature as human beings. Listening to one of the broadcasters on this clip was bothersome. All he did was talk about himself and compare his nail biting and his relationship with his wife; meanwhile he seems to lack any knowledge about addiction. I believe that addiction is real. Whatever form it comes in and however strange it may be; addiction is about an unhealthy relationship with substances, objects, or behaviors. Why and how one gets to this unhealthy relationship is part of their own past. Education on addiction should be the next sound bite the media should get out into the public in order for us to realize that, yes, maybe we are all one in the same. The topic of Tiger Woods and his sex addiction has almost sickened me over the past year. My attitude is a result from the media and the never-ending opinions and judgments that come from all angles. It seems that as humans we are meaning making machines: if we don’t understand something we will do anything in our power to make sense of it. Along with that aspect and the fact that our society thrives off of the “sound bite” and beating someone while they’re down Tiger’s sex addiction caused many of us to express our opinion. Like you mentioned, the problem is that not very many people have spent time to understand the meaning of addiction.
I agree and believe that media issues like these are so influential only because so many of us are facing similar problems. I also agree that we all have dealt with some struggles at some point in our life and as a result we might have engaged in excessive behaviors to help us cope. How far we go and what we do are all a recipe individually customized to our own lives and circumstances. Passing judgment as to why Tiger did what he did and if it really is an addiction is just as ridiculous as me having hope people would stop being so opinionated. Opinion is part of our nature as human beings. Listening to one of the broadcasters on this clip was bothersome. All he did was talk about himself and compare his nail biting and his relationship with his wife; meanwhile he seems to lack any knowledge about addiction.
I believe that addiction is real. Whatever form it comes in and however strange it may be; addiction is about an unhealthy relationship with substances, objects, or behaviors. Why and how one gets to this unhealthy relationship is part of their own past. Education on addiction should be the next sound bite the media should get out into the public in order for us to realize that, yes, maybe we are all one in the same.

]]> By: admin http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-691 admin Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:18:52 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-691 Well said! J Well said!

J

]]> By: JR - Freedom From Porn Addiction http://addictionmanagement.org/2010/03/confessions-of-a-tiger-sex-addict-helping-out-cnn-and-the-rest-of-the-media/comment-page-1/#comment-690 JR - Freedom From Porn Addiction Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:23:07 +0000 http://addictionmanagement.org/?p=684#comment-690 Going to the refrigerator, biting your nails won't put you behind bars, shatter the trust of your children and wife, nor would you get a huge negative reaction from people if you struggled with that and you held a party at your house for your kid's birthday and invited all the neighborhood kids. I know if the commentator thinks about it he'll see the difference. Secondly, it's not that there's no choice, it's just that it's extremely limited because of the strength you've conditioned your urges to have. DSM is not the end all in diagnosis, it's just a help for psychiatrists. It's also influenced by politics. When things become politically incorrect to call a disease there is pressure to remove it. It's possible to get help, but you first need to call a spade a spade and admit you have a problem. That's really hard to do when just about everyone you hear in the media is saying there's no such thing. They've been saying the same thing about ADD for years and if you listen to Tom Cruise, psychiatry isn't even a real science: http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Tom_Cruise_debates_psychiatry_on_NBC%27s_Today_show The key is to listen to that voice inside that helps guide you. You can feel/know when something is not right, but too often we drown out that voice with noise and justifications that sing us into a sleep of denial. Going to the refrigerator, biting your nails won’t put you behind bars, shatter the trust of your children and wife, nor would you get a huge negative reaction from people if you struggled with that and you held a party at your house for your kid’s birthday and invited all the neighborhood kids. I know if the commentator thinks about it he’ll see the difference.

Secondly, it’s not that there’s no choice, it’s just that it’s extremely limited because of the strength you’ve conditioned your urges to have.

DSM is not the end all in diagnosis, it’s just a help for psychiatrists. It’s also influenced by politics. When things become politically incorrect to call a disease there is pressure to remove it.

It’s possible to get help, but you first need to call a spade a spade and admit you have a problem. That’s really hard to do when just about everyone you hear in the media is saying there’s no such thing. They’ve been saying the same thing about ADD for years and if you listen to Tom Cruise, psychiatry isn’t even a real science: http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Tom_Cruise_debates_psychiatry_on_NBC%27s_Today_show

The key is to listen to that voice inside that helps guide you. You can feel/know when something is not right, but too often we drown out that voice with noise and justifications that sing us into a sleep of denial.

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