Video, Video…and more Video!
I learned recently that the number one online activity is watching videos. My initial guess was email, but as I thought more about how we have grown-up watching television, and that the average American now spends more than five hours a day in front of a screen (TVs, computers and mobile devices, non-worked related), this outcome is hardly surprising. Email actually ranks third behind online banking. These statistics got me thinking about the most effective way to provide you science-based, easy-to-understand information about addiction and how to overcome it as a problem. Call me a little slow, but if watching videos is where all the action is online, then it seems to make sense that I go there as well. So I am excited to tell you that I have taken the leap and completely updated this site with lots of video! You will now find many short snippets, most just a few minutes long, on a wide range of addiction-related topics.
A few words about the clips. Last year I joined the Board of Shangri-La, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping Oregon’s most vulnerable populations with housing, employment, and a multitude of other needed services. What an amazing group of people! I can’t say enough great things about how they are making a difference in the lives of so many people at a time when so many are struggling. One reason for my involvement has been the increasing prevalence of addiction among the populations they serve. To help out, I presented some material about addiction to about 80 of their managers and staff, and in return, they taped it so I could use it on this site. Thanks again guys!
The first set of clips I am posting are primarily aimed at helping you better understand addiction. Here is one of them focused on addiction being about relationships.
Tags: addiction, development, education, public policy, Treatment
Hi Dr. Fitzgerald,
I had a question about addictions. I was wondering how common it was for a person who has suffered from a truama in their childhood to form not just one but mulitple addictions that they rotate in and out of throught their life.
Thanks, Janna
I thought your idea of addiction being related to addiction was very interesting. I think it is especially hard for adolescents to have that intimate and personal relationships with others because of technology now days. It is so much easier to meet people through social networks that they don’t know how to have that connection they need to have that support system in their lives. Especially with the fast pace life styles people live, they don’t have the time they need to really look at their lives and identify the problems they have. I think that this all contributes to the addiction with alcohol and drugs. People turn to alcohol and drugs to get away from the fast pace lives they are living. It is so much easier to drink or do drugs then to just sit down and have a personal conversation with someone. I think that what you are doing will help people realize their true problem with addiction. Thank you.
I agree with your idea of how addictions are about realationships. People are sometimes scared to open up and talk to people about their problems or addiction habits. I think you should establish personal realationships with people because they will be more open to talk to you about their problems instead of shying away from their habits.
Thanks for the feedback! Yes, relationships are key.
J
I really liked your presentation on addiction and how you interlinked it to relationships. I never thought of addiction as a disease. Through the lecture, I was able to understand more about addiction that I did not know before. I do agree with you in that, we should have better ways to educate individuals about addiction being more about relationships. My question for you is: How does this tie into love addict or does it? What would you say are some of the indicators of addiction?
I enjoyed the first two clips stating that addiction is about relationships and also the specific example of the man who had the “Ah-hah” moment realizing that his addiction was triggered through trauma. I also found interesting that you stated that most addictions begin prior of the age of 15 which is very possible because at that age kids are exposed and susceptible to many addictive behaviors. Though eating food is not usually categorized as a drug but can be considered as an addictive behavior, a specific question I had was what similar physiological and environmental factors come into play comparing being an addict of a illicit drug and to eating food?
Thanks for the comment. If you watch the segment on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), I talk about the Kaiser study that showed how eating food can become an unconscious way to cope with unresolved ACEs in the same way that drugs can be used. Also, the discussion about risk and protective factors highlights how similar risks can lead to a wide range of addictions to food, drugs and other addictions.
J
Hi Dr. Fitzgerald,
First I want to say that I never think about addiction in more deeply way. I did not know much about it until now. I listen very carefully the video about addiction being about relationships. I have to say that I agree with that, people need to trust people, to have someone that they can talk to about their addiction, without being judge. I really think that the treatments which provide some education about relationships are important. I have a question for you: Do you think that children with parents who are divorces are more likely to get addicted to drugs?
Thanks for your nice comment. Children with divorced parents may be at higher risk, but divorce as a sole predictor of addiction is not very good. The video on Adverse Childhood Experiences explains that it is the combination of multiple risk and protective factors that ultimately determine who goes down a path of addiction. Divorce is only one factor and likely not as strong as factors like childhood trauma, domestic violence, and whether substance abuse occurs in the household.
Hope this helps
J
I found your presentation on how addiction is about relationships. I never really thought of addiction as stemming from a childhood relationship. It makes sense though after thinking about it. I mean they want something or someone to fill that void within themselves so they cling to anything that may give a good feeling to them even though it is only temporary. I have met those people who are very intelligent academically but when you try to form some sort of relationship with them whether an intimate or just wanting to be friends with them they seem stuck in a adolescence type of thinking. It can be very frustrating at times. You almost start to think “what’s wrong with you? You have a degree in this yet you can’t even be a considerate friend?” It’s like they are book smart but not people smart. I’m glad that we have ways of helping these individuals sort of catch up emotionally and developmentally with where they should be at considering their age.
I like your video and how your presented addiction is about relationships. It gave a new insight on how people get connected with these objects like drugs. I feel this is true because I have spoke and heard many individuals that state the reason they are on these drugs is because the connection to family or lover was gone, wanting to feel needed by someone or trying to connect with others to feel wanted. I’m sure there are more ways, but this is how I could understand and process it. I also agree that people do disconnect with others in their life due to addiction. The way you described the body language of individuals let some many bells in my head go off. It’s true! the disconnect part is where we lose are family, friends, and associates to objects. I have also found with people when it’s time to deal with the reality of it, everything’s stems from childhood, but everyone else is thrown off because were all in the present day of now as an adult. That is when the disconnection erupts in to havoc because everyone is lost at that point. With that said these things have started from childhood. I’m glad there is a way to bring them back and support your stance on this subject.
I really enjoyed your video. I have learned a lot about addition especially the part the addiction is a disorder it gets started in childhood. Addiction is about relationships. 80% of people that struggle start developing problem with addiction prior to the age of 15. And, to a large extent, addiction is an adaptive response to having a difficult or painful time in relationship with people. So early on these early experiences whether its drama often what they do, instead of leading people down to having a healthy attachment relationship with people. People start learning to meet their needs their emotional needs, regulatory needs, through relationships with objects such as porn, food, alcohol, drugs. They start developing relationships with object. Over time, people treat themselves develop mentally of the experience that they need to learn how to initiate develop and maintain a healthy relationship with people. The essence of this treatment is to help people pulled away and disconnected from these objects and learn how to connect with people in a healthy way. This is what I got and its extremely important why some people act and do things in differents ways. Thanks again
Hi Dr. Fitzgreald,
My question is.. What are some of the steps a person who addicted to playing poker machines should do to stop? How long will it takes for recovery process. It’s kind of stupid question but I know someone who is definitely addicted to gamble. He needs to quit but he’s not sure how. Thanks Dr.
Thanks for the question. There is no simple answer to your question, but my entire website is devoted to helping you understand addiction, including gambling, and what to do about it as a problem. I would encourage you to check out understanding addiction, and overcoming addiction using the 5 actions model.
J
I really enjoyed your presentation Dr. Fitzgerald. I found your presentation informative and unique on how addiction started, and how it’s ruined a person’s life. I was a little shocked that addiction is a disorder that started in early childhood. People started learning to meet their needs through relationships with objects such as porn, food, alcohol, drugs. They start developing relationships with object instead of a real intimate or loving relationship. This is shocking. In fact, these are some of the reasons why some people commit crime and violate the law. I also agree with you on what the media is doing to our society. They are more interested in businesses and selling stories. And if society goes along with what the media is telling us, we’ve being misdirected. Keep up the great work.
Thanks for the nice feedback!
J
First off I want to say Thank you Dr. Fitzgerald I truly enjoyed as well as found your presentation very beneficial to my relationship with my father and understanding why he chose to smoke dope versus handling his responsibilities and take care of my sisters and me.
Before your presentation I was unaware of the fact that addiction and relationships correlated. Now I understand why my father was never there for my sisters and me, because he felt life was too difficult and resulted in drug abuse. He couldn’t handle the day to day duties of being a responsible parent. For instance like maintaining a job, paying bills, and parenting my sisters and me. And because of his long-term usage it damaged him more psychologically versus physically. Therefore now I see why it has been difficult for him to interact with others (society), myself and sisters. As you stated he couldn’t “obtain an intimate nor emotional relationship”. Now I also understand that “smoking dope” was just an escape goat and that he did it because it gave him a good feeling. However according to a wise woman (my mother) who once told me that “just because something makes you feels good, doesn’t mean that it is good for you.”
Now my dad and I have a good relationship. I’ve learned to forgive him and let the past be the past and look forward to the future.
I am grateful the material and perspective of seeing addiction as a problem of relationships has been beneficial to you. Even more, I am glad to hear that you and your father now have a positive relationship. Thanks for sharing.
J
Hi Dr. Fitzgerald,
It is very interesting what you have said about addiction. Just a few nights ago I was watching a study done on babies. This study was to determine the baby’s need for attention. The study consisted of a mother and her baby, and it started with the mother giving her baby the attention she was striving for. Suddenly, the mother stopped giving the baby attention, and sat there with out any interaction with the baby. As result, the baby tried to get her mom’s attention, and after few minutes, she started playing with her self. I find this very relevant to what described about relationship in your video. I feel that addiction begins when the individual drifts away from human interactions, and finds activities and in this case using drugs on their own time. And once they go down that hole, it is hard for them to come back to reality. People, who become depended on drugs and alcohol, don’t see anything wrong with their own doings, due to lack of healthy relationship with others.
Hi Dr. Fitzgerald,
Your information/lectures regarding addiction has been truly inspiring. I have always looked at those struggling with addiction and had, I suppose, a more mainstream view of the situation. Blaming the substance to some degree, the person for lack of self control and the substances soothing affect. But not necessarily appreciating the fact that most people struggle with an addiction of some sort…some addictions are just more self-destructive than others. As I aged, it became much more obvious that we all have our “baggage”, some admittedingly more traumatic than others, and it seems to manifest in different ways. My aunt is “addicted” to cleaning her house, there are food addictions, alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, and a whole mess of prescription, OTC and illegal drugs to add to the mix. Now when I look at someone, I tend to wonder what their vice is and not hold such a judgement for those that struggle with a more self-destructive addiction. As a parent, it gives me hope! Thanks for opening my eyes and showing me a new perspective!!!
The poet Robert Bly said we spend until were 20 putting everything into a bag (our baggage) and then we spend the rest of our life taking it out of the bag (if we are lucky). I feel sad for those who continue to live with lots of baggage because it is possible to lighten the load. Some use addictions to manage the bag, but it is easier unloading the bag. Thanks for your feedback!
J
Yes, I am familiar with the study called “stillface” which was originally done by Edward Tronick, and I agree that it is a powerful example of how early experiences shape future behavior, including addiction. Thanks for reminding me of Tronick’s work.
J
Thank you for sharing the information Dr. Fitzgerald. It is very interesting that the article mentions “the average American now spends more than five hours a day in front of a screen (TVs, computers and mobile devices, non-worked related).” I am curious where the median is, since not every American uses the internet, so definitely a lot of people who use the internet more than 5 hours. When I came to the US at first time, I was surprised that even the elderly can use computers, since my mother even cannot use the cell phone sufficiently. As the video “Addiction is About Relationship,” we may have to reduce the time with computer to regain the personal relationships.
This is really a neat way to talk/show about addiction. I feel like when it comes to everyday life, everyone has some type of addiction. I never really thought of addiction as stemming from a childhood relationship. However, I do agree that most addictions are happening younger and younger because of the technology that had arose threw time. I have a cousin that is 12 yrs old and he started out young with a computer and is now stuck on video games. He is having a hard time with his school work and social life because he never got out of the house enough to develop social skills. It is all about the personal relationships that you have with someone.
Wow, what a powerful correlation being able to link addictions to relationships and the way in which they interweave with one another. Knowing that addictions usually begin at a young age (early adolescence) is important because it affords an opportunity to target certain groups prior to the age of onset. The process of re-connecting with people must be very difficult for addicts as they have been “robbed” of learning these behaviors that are associated with emotional development as people mature and age. I had never thought about addictions being so closely related to relationships (or lack thereof) until hearing Dr. Fitzgerald’s explanation. It’s great to hear that treatment is possible, based on learning how to re-connect and build intimate relationships with people instead of drugs, food, gambling, etc.
Dr. Fitzgerald
Thank you for you blogs and great information. Listening to your video here, sparked something in me and i saw a new look on things in addiction on drugs. Not only the addiction on drugs but the relationship developments people with addiction have or lack to have. I always thought people with addiction strayed away from relationships they previously had because they were ashamed of themselves. When really the their addiction mentally disables them or makes it nearly impossible for having relationships with other people. Their lives are so focused on one thing, “drugs” more than what they truly need, “relationships”.
Thanks for the feedback!
J