At a training not long ago on CRAFT, the presenter told a story that I want to pass on to you. But first, if you have never heard of CRAFT, it stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training which is an evidence-based approach that family members (or friends) can use to facilitate getting an unmotivated loved one struggling with addiction into treatment. I am most fond of this approach because, unlike traditional interventions that rely upon coercing a person into treatment through harsh group feedback, CRAFT relies upon using basic behavioral strategies to rearrange the world of the addict so he or she internally reaches the decision that treatment is necessary. We have known for a long time that external motivation gets the job done; interventions do often lead to treatment. But unfortunately, once there, the person we so badly care about does not engage in treatment, does not really want to be there, and often drops out. We are back to square one and saying that treatment does not work. It is a vicious cycle.

In these situations, treatment fails because of a lack of internal motivation. Those who need to change their behavior have to want to change their behavior, which is why CRAFT is so powerful. It works to increase internal motivation for change by eliminating the positive reinforcement for acting out in an addiction, and enhancing positive reinforcement for non-acting out behaviors. If you don’t understand basic behavioral approaches to change using reinforcement, then it is time for my story.

A woman who had been admitted to a psychiatric ward was driving the staff crazy. From the time she woke up until the time she went to bed in the evening she would scream her head off. The staff tried everything they could think of to get her to stop screaming, but nothing worked. She had to be placed in a room alone, away from the other residents, and restrained at times. Although medications could have been used to sedate her (and probably were at times), they were not the answer. After many frustrating weeks of listening to her loud cries, a doctor was brought in to see if he could help. His name was Nathan Azrin.

Nate walked down the hall to the woman’s room as staff likely snickered about how he possibly could make a difference given all that had been tried. When he arrived, the woman was sitting on the edge of the bed rocking back and forth screaming like she did throughout the day. He stood at the doorway for quite some time. He may have thought about why she was screaming, but also knew that whatever the driving reason, she could not speak and exploring the why would likely be a long journey. Instead, being a behavioral psychologist, he considered her behavior and what he wanted her to do instead of screaming. Well, this was easy, he wanted her to stop screaming. Then, he considered the times when she was doing what he wanted her to do: eating, sleeping, and breathing. During these activities she did not scream. As he stood in the doorway, he began to focus more on the immediate moment to moment rhythm of her screaming and breathing. Then he got an idea…

Right at the moment when she stopped screaming to take a breath, he walked over to her and gently stroked her hair. After she inhaled and began screaming again, he slowly moved back to the door and waited until she had to take another breath. He then repeated the movements with every breath: move close to her, look her in the eyes, gently stroke her hair, and then move away as she screamed. Nate knew, that at our core, we all have one unifying need: love. And he believed that by reinforcing the moments when she was not screaming, even though they were just seconds, with loving touch, that just maybe…maybe, he could alter her behavior. While staff had isolated her, restrained her, and stayed clear of her, he moved closer to her. And his approach worked. By that evening, he was sitting next to her on the bed, gently stroking her hair, and the screaming had stopped. He told the staff that when she woke up the next morning and started to scream, someone was to sit next to her and gently comfort her. In fact, anytime she began to scream, the antidote was the same.

I love this story because so often when we are challenged in life we tend to overlook the obvious. We seek out expensive treatments, elaborate self-help strategies, or engage in complex change regiments only to become frustrated when change eludes us. Dr. Azrin is among the most cited psychologists of all time, and although he may go down in history for his popular read, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, for me, he will go down as an individual who taught me about love.

Last week I watched the independent film Race to Nowhere that has won numerous awards for its strong messages about our broken educational system. Through interviews with students, parents, teachers, and others, the movie illustrates the dark side of being a kid in school. The race to nowhere for students is paved with an over-scheduling of activities, too much homework, too little sleep, and increased stress that is resulting in health problems, drug abuse, eating disorders, and suicide. What is even more troubling, is that for all the effort kids are putting into their school work and extracurricular activities, many are being churned out of our educational system lacking some of the most important qualities of a good education, including:  the ability to reflect deeply on topics, handle difficult emotions in the face of stress, and successfully engage in a wide range of healthy relationships. The film points the finger at numerous perpetrators, but in the end, fails to hit home that no one individual person or group is to blame, but rather it is the entire educational system that we must examine more carefully if we are to find the truth behind the worrisome outcomes.

When I think about the fact that over 80 percent of those who end up struggling with addiction begin their behaviors prior to the age of 15, this film frightens me even more. When did school become so competitive and stressful? Much of the over-scheduling of extra-curricular activities and hours of homework is in response to the demands, both perceived and real, associated with getting accepting into a college or university. What is sad is that the stress and pressure begin long before high school. My wife and I spent a couple of years tearing our hair out (the little I have left) trying to identify and enroll our son in the best possible elementary school. I put more time and effort into researching options, attending open houses, completing enrollment packets that included writing lengthy essays, than I ever did applying to graduate school! The process was absolutely crazy, and I know we were not alone. And now I know it was just the beginning.

Race to Nowhere illustrates painfully many of the current antecedents to addiction, and why we absolutely must reexamine our understanding of what education means and how we are going about educating our children. Failure to do so will only lead to a new generation of addicts.

As I laid in bed thinking about the next day, about my turn, fear flooded my entire body. I was like a pressure cooker with no relief valve, and I knew I had to do something fast. I dressed quickly and left my room, walking outside into the cold Arizona night. The black sky was speckled with a million shining stars lighting up the desert floor, casting shadows on giant, prickly cactuses. I walked quickly along the side of the road, exhaling fear with every breath. I began to feel better, more grounded and intent on making it into town. Every few minutes I would squint as a car’s oncoming headlights blinded me, but I never missed a step. After some time, I felt a sharp pain in my side. Then my left calf began to tense up and I wondered how far I had walked. I wondered even more about how far I had left to go, whether walking alone in the middle of the night on a dark road was such a good idea, and whether I would survive confronting my fears in an experiential therapy group the next morning.

My week-long experience in Tucson was only one of a number of therapeutic journeys I have taken during the past two decades. At the time I took my long walk in the Tucson desert I understood very little about how professional therapy ultimately translates into a better life. I was there because that is what I thought I was supposed to do to get better. It was a challenging experience, like many of the therapeutic journeys I have been on, because the essence of the therapeutic work was emotional. Since I had lived much of my life in my head, learning to connect with my body and feelings was not natural, particularly when I felt I had so little control over these things. Although I can honestly say it was not the most enjoyable week, after it was over I felt more complete, more integrated, more able to be in the world in a broader context. Some of the emotional pressure had been released safely, and I felt more alive. Such outcomes have always been the reason I keep going back for more, even to this day.

What I now realize after years of personal therapeutic work, counseling patients, and studying the research on treatment outcomes, is that good therapy advances developmental capacities that make healthy relationships possible. In addition, by expanding developmental skills, it becomes possible to optimize overall mental and emotional functioning, leading to an expansion of life opportunities, a better alignment between innate talents and employment, and a more meaningful life. What I have also realized is that advancing developmental capacities does not necessarily require professional treatment, but can result from a number of life experiences.

Although medications and various cognitive-behavioral therapies so often used in addiction treatment play an important role in solving the problem of addiction, they fall short of a permanent solution because they are not intended to progress emotional development. When I reflect back on the many therapists I have worked with, self-help groups I have attended, experiential programs I have endured, and the wide range of therapeutic approaches I have subjected myself to, it is clear now that the most important ingredient in all of them was people, not specific therapies, medications, or programs. Treatment works best when in the context of relationships, the skills necessary to initiate, develop, and maintain healthy relationships – skills underdeveloped because of time spent with objects – are nurtured.

The good news is that anyone, at any stage of life, no matter how badly addicted to objects, can evolve their developmental capacities and engage in life in a deeper and more meaningful way.

For the past few years I have taught a foundations course on addiction treatment to graduate students. An important aspect of the course is helping students understand that longterm successful outcomes  necessitate resolving underlying drivers of addictive behavior, namely, adverse childhood experiences. In an effort to illustrate concretely how this may be done, I enlisted the help of a good friend and colleague, Mark Girard, who is a master at knowing how to help people heal from deep, traumatic wounds. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and certified Jungian Analyst with years of experience, he is incredibly skilled at working with a wide range of altered states, or emotional constrictions due to trauma. What impresses me most about Mark is how he uses himself as a tool in therapy. He walks his talk and maintains a presence with patients that is the essence of what a good therapeutic relationship is all about. During his recent visit to my class he agreed to have me videotape his lecture. The approximate 35 minute presentation is a gift to us all. I encourage you to take the time – quiet, focused time – to sit and hear what he has to say.

In the presentation, Mark mentions an article by Dr. Bruce Perry from the ChildTrauma Academy that was required reading in class. The article is titled Applying Principles of Neurodevelopment to Clinical Work with Maltreated and Traumatized children and is a nice adjunct to his lecture. He also makes reference to Babette Rothschild’s wonderful book on trauma, The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment, and the classic article on trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps Score – both among the very best reads on the topic of trauma.

I have mentioned Dr. Robert Thayer before on this site, but have not dedicated a blog entry to his ideas until now. When I first read his book, Calm Energy: How People Regulate Mood with Food and Exercise, I was immediately impressed by the implications of his  work for those struggling with addiction. In a nutshell, he provides a very strong case that many of our moods and unhealthy eating habits have in common two biopsychological dimensions that he calls energy and tension. In an earlier book (The Origin of Everyday Moods, 1996) he describes how the dimensions can be used to create the illustration below.

The above four states represent different expressions of our energy and level of stress. Calm Energy is the quadrant where we find our best moods. We have energy and no tension. It is similar to the states people call flow or being in the zone. It is a place we want to be, where our attention is focused, we are productive, and we feel good about life. It is not a place where addiction is found, and in fact, is really the antidote to cravings and addictive appetites. The opposite of Calm Energy is Tense Tiredness. This unfortunately is the place many of us find ourselves these days, in large part due to the speed of life, decreases in sleep, and increases in stress. It is a place of low energy, bad moods, anxiety and depression. It is also the state where addiction thrives. When we feel tense and tired there is a natural tendency to want move away from this state, and addictive behaviors are among the most powerful, reliable, quick, and easy ways to disconnect from Tense Tiredness. I say disconnect because engaging in addictions does not really provide an antidote to this state. Instead, it may in the short run give us more energy, and change our mood, but only temporarily. When the addictive behavior ceases, chances are good that what follows will be more tension and lack of energy, perpetuating the relapse cycle.

I like to think about Calm Tiredness as a lazy Sunday afternoon. In general, it is a pleasant state, but often not as productive or positive as Calm Energy. Nothing wrong with it, and in fact we need down time to recharge our batteries. The final state, Tense Energy, is a state where we are quite productive and busy, often due to deadlines and being rushed for time. Many Type A personalities fit this state, as well as those who like to live on the edge and seek out thrills.

In my own life I find the model incredibly useful in helping me understand my own eating, exercise, sleep, and mood patterns. One of the best things you can do for yourself is take a day (or two) and track your level of energy and tension by the hour. Rate each on a scale of 1 to 10 and then plot the results on a graph. It is revealing to see just how significantly these states change in the course of an average day. The graph also helps to identify intervention points for: (a) preventing relapse, (b) developing optimal times for exercise, and (c) determining whether we are getting enough sleep. In addition, the graph can help you understand how time of day subtly influences how we think about life problems.

In sum, addiction most often shows up when we are tense and tired, but can also occur in the other states as well. Among the most significant points Dr. Thayer makes in his book is that the single best way to cultivate a life of calm energy is by developing a regular habit of exercise. Perhaps that is why the National Institute of Drug Abuse has already invested over 4 million in research into the connections between addiction and exercise.

As a young boy, I remember venturing out on summer evenings to play hide-and-seek with the other neighborhood kids. We made up teams, sought out secret hiding places, and took full advantage of the local woods that surrounded our corner of the world. Our parents all knew each other, and while we were expending our energy running around in the dark playing games, they were talking around tables and sharing food and drink. There was no internet, cell phones, or other multimedia distractions competing for time. Life was simpler, slower.

Now, more than thirty-five years later, I find myself married with a young son and challenged to provide him the same care-free childhood that I experienced. Despite living in a pleasant, middle-class neighborhood, it is rare to see large groups of kids playing together outside. There are no local woods within walking distance, and even if there were, most parents (myself included) would be hesitant to allow their children to play unsupervised. Although everyone I encounter on my daily dog walks is friendly, there is a lack of deep intimacy among neighbors. Some have never even met despite living within blocks of each other for decades.

The stark contrast between life today and just a few decades ago is surreal. The year I was born the handheld calculator was invented, and today, handheld devices are minicomputers capable of video-conferencing around the world. But for all the benefits technology affords, there is a cost that gets lost in the frenzy of Facebook, YouTube, and Amazon.

In 1985, researchers set out to understand the degree to which people have family and friends they can rely upon to discuss matters that are personal in nature. A national survey was done, and in 2004, the same group decided to repeat the study to determine how core discussion networks had changed over two decades. The results are frightening.

• 25% of all Americans in 2004 reported they had no one in their life to discuss personal issues, compared to 10% in 1985
• The modal (most frequent) number of discussion partners in 1985 was three, but in 2004 that number plummeted to zero
• The average social network size has dropped from 3 confidants to 2
• The number of people who reported that their spouse was the only person they trust with personal issues increased by almost 50 percent since 1985

These outcomes paint a sobering picture of the price we may be paying for our technology-enhanced life. The lead researcher has said, “we know these close ties are what people depend on in bad times. We’re not saying people are completely isolated. They may have 600 friends on Facebook.com and email 25 people a day, but they are not discussing matters that are personally important.”

Source: Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades, American Sociological Review, June 2006 71:353-375

“Addiction in the modern world can be best understood as a compulsive lifestyle that people adopt as a desperate substitute when they are dislocated from the myriad intimate ties between people and groups – from the family to the spiritual community – that are essential for every person in every type of society.”

Bruce K. Alexander, The Globalisation of Addiction: A Study in Poverty of the Spirit

In the previous post I discussed how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) to a large extent play an important role in the development of addictions. Given that over 80 percent of those who develop addictions begin adaptive behaviors to cope with ACEs prior to the age of 15, we as a society need to place a greater emphasis on identifying at-risk kids and intervening as early as possible. But there is another insidious root to addiction that I believe goes beyond individual ACEs and plays an even greater role in the development of addiction – free market society.

Bruce K. Alexander spent decades as a distinguished addiction researcher in Canada before becoming so frustrated by a lack of progress in helping those who struggle, that he completly changed careers and decided to focus on teaching history instead. Despite doing everything he could to avoid topics around drugs and addiction, the more he studied history, the more he discovered insights that began to change his entire perspective on the nature of addiction.

In general, when we think about addiction, we think about it as an individual problem. Individuals are exposed to a host of risk factors, including ACEs, peer group influences, and the availability of objects of addiction in communities. The more risk factors an individual is exposed to, the more likely the chances are that he or she will develop an addiction. Conventional wisdom also suggests that the antidote to addiction is intervention and treatment. But when Dr. Alexander began studying history, he discovered cultures and societies where common objects of addiction were present (drugs, alcohol, sex, food), yet addictive behavior was minimal or nonexistent. ”Addiction can be rare in a society for many centuries, but can become nearly universal when circumstances change – for example, when a cohesive tribal culture is crushed or an advanced civilisation collapses (Alexander, 2008).” Throughout history, the primary factor responsible for the societal change leading to pervasive addiction is the introduction of free market society. Why?

When a society introduces free markets, exchange of goods and services optimally are not encumbered by family ties, cultural traditions, religious values, or anything else that may impede free play of the laws of supply and demand. In other words, free markets create an “every man (or woman) for yourself” dynamic that puts me in competition with everyone else for jobs, insurance, a house, goods, services and Lady Ga Ga tickets. One consequence of this system is that people become dislocated, or disconnected from one another because of the time and energy necessary to keep up with the Jones. Free markets are incredibly profficient at knowing how to keep people focused on stuff over experiences. Flashy ads, mass media, and the latest gizmo from Steve Jobs keeps us always wanting more. In the pursuit of the American dream, what many get instead is isolation, fear, and dislocation, which ultimately leads to compulsive lifestyles where people develop addictive relationships to stuff and get further and further disconnected from nurturing human relationships.

Dr. Alexander’s Dislocation Theory of Addiction is well documented in a paper titled The Roots of Addiction in Free Market Society (highly recommended reading) and a more extensive read: The Globalisation of Addiction: A Study in Poverty of the Spirit. His work is extremely important in helping us all understand many of our current societal ills beyond addiction, including: divorce, single parenthood, children in poverty, obesity, unemployment, and excessive time in front of the TV. Until we as a society place relationships and experiences over materialism, consumption and stuff, Thoreau’s observation that ”the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” will ring ever more true.

What is the solution to mass dislocation? I believe part of the answer lies in making some tough societal changes including ending the senseless war on drugs (a big topic for another time). But for the individual struggling right now with addiction, the answer is much more about restructuring life in a way that emphasizes relationships over stuff. To do this, one must have the developmental  capacities necessary to know how to initiate, develop, and maintain healthy human relationships.

“For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.”  – Thoreau

In my life there have been many times when I felt isolated, lonely, disconnected, and alone. These times have never  been pleasant, and in the absence of nurturing relationships, close friends to call on a dime, or a tribe of my own, I coped by engaging in substitute relationships with work, money, entertainment, food, hobbies, and exercise (just to name a few). For years I felt shame about many of my behaviors, and my inability to connect in deep ways with others. Now I understand that so much of my adaptive behaviors were a response to underlying root problems, problems that needed resolving and hampered in significant ways my ability to intiate, develop, and maintain intimate and nurturing relationships with people. I also believe that now, more than ever, those who struggle with addiction share similar root causes that need to be addressed if successful longterm outcomes are to materialize.

The roots of addiction go much deeper than the adaptive behaviors that so often are the focus of intervention efforts. This is because dealing with the symptoms (addictions) are easier than dealing with the root causes. I have long believed that addiction is a problem best managed over time like other chronic illnesses. But successful management necessitates addressing what drives the addictive behavior in the first place. It requires knowing how to turn down the flame, dig out the roots, and resolve problems that are solvable. These underlying roots come in many shapes and sizes, but there are two forms that I believe are the primary drivers of addiction today. This post will address the first form: adverse childhood experiences.

Adverse Childhood Experiences
In the mid 1980s, physicians from Kaiser Permanente’s Department of Preventative Medicine in San Diego made an interesting discovery. Those who were losing the most weight and succeeding in the weight loss program were the ones most likely to drop out and quit. Was it because they no longer needed the program? Nope. Further investigation revealed that the majority of dropouts did not maintain their weight loss and went back to struggling with problems of overeating and obesity. Why did they quit if they were succeeding in the program? A deeper look revealed that overeating and obesity were used as tools to cope with unresolved adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). In most cases, overeating was an unconscious behavior utilized as a protective solution to these unresolved childhood problems.

How was it unconsciously protective? In many cases, the ACEs involved sexual, physical or emotional abuse. Developing a relationship with food was safer than developing intimate or nurturing relationships with people who might abuse again. Being obese unconsciously deterred romantic interests and physically enhanced protection of the body. The finding that most of the participants in the weight loss program had prior ACEs led Kaiser to collaborate with the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) to explore the link between ACEs and general health outcomes.

The study involved over 17,000 middle-class Americans and has produced over 50 scholarly research journal articles. Among the most signficant findings in the study was that two-thirds of the participants reported at least one ACE, and more than one in five reported three or more ACEs. In addition, the higher a person’s ACE score, the more addictive behavior was utilized as a coping response. For example:

Here you can see that as the number of ACE scores increase, so too does the percent who meet criteria for alcoholism. This finding is detailed in an insightful paper titled The Origins of Addiction by the lead researcher of the study, Vincent Felitti. What the ACE study helps us to understand is that the roots of addiction are real, diverse, and if left unaddressed, will continue to fuel the behavior we are so badly trying to manage (or end).

I recently learned about the website Living Hero that produces podcasts of “living luminaries and mavericks” hosted by Jari Chevalier. Her most recent interview was with Dr. Gabor Mate, a Canadian physician with a broad range of life experience (and wisdom) on topics including: mind-body medicine, stress and trauma, ADD, and addiction. I first heard about Dr. Mate when a close therapist friend told me about his book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Shortly thereafter, another friend said he had been to Portland and spoke at a college campus. Then…the podcast interview. Call me slow, but eventually I do pay attention when the universe is attempting to tell me something – like pay attention to this guy!

After listening to the insightful interview by Jari (please go listen now), it is clear that much of what Dr. Mate believes is very much in line with the information on this website and blog. He advocates understanding addiction as a coping response to underlying pathologies, namely adverse childhood experiences. These early events impact brain development, as well as other developmental capacities, resulting in the need for relationships with objects that help regulate stress and emotion cycles. Although much of the discussion focused on addiction as a coping response (feel better), I believe Dr. Mate would also agree that addictive behavior is perpetuated because it feels good – the brain likes it!

I remember a case involving very successful business owner who decided to have lunch with her girlfriends at a local diner that just happened to also have newly installed video poker machines. Having no history of gambling behavior, she thought nothing of putting a buck in the machine to see what would happen. Minutes later she experienced a “big win” – a $600 dopamine rush. So…the following week she told her girlfriends they should meet again for lunch at her lucky restaurant. She put another dollar in the machine and amazingly she won the jackpot again, another $600 big win. That was all it took for her brain chemistry to rearrange some important neurons that led to an out-of-control gambling addiction. Her husband brought her to the clinic because she was unable to stop playing video poker, was blowing thousands of dollars per day, and neglecting her business and family. Although she did love how winning made her feel, in the end, her relationship with video poker machines was just another substitute for the human intimacy she so longed for, but struggled to obtain.

Addiction is a very complex problem with no easy answers. What I like most about Dr. Mate’s approach to healing is that it is humane, sensible, and incorporates harm reduction strategies. More information about his work can be found on his website. But if you can’t wait to read his book, then listen to the podcast byJari, it is well worth your time.

This past week I had a few minutes to spare in Washington DC, so I dropped by the National Geographic Society headquarters and discovered a project that has significant relevance to successfully solving the problem of addiction. Writer and photographer Dan Buettner embarked on a journey around the globe in search of communities that optimized lifestyle for longevity and happiness, places he calls blue zones.  He boiled down his research for the book Blue Zones into principles for living a long and prosperous life. Here is a great summary of the book he did for TED:

For those who struggle with addiction, the keys outlined in the book (and the speech above) provide a road map for translating the MRC solution into reality. Let’s look at how they line up:

Manage
Successfully dealing with addiction requires identifying those things in your life that are chronic issues, and then developing strategies that appropriately keep these things in-check. When we expect to permanently solve a chronic problem we set ourselves up for failure because there is no cure or end to these issues, they require ongoing attention. Addiction, diet, chronic medical issues, time and exercise are all things we must learn to successfully manage. In Blue Zones, the keys that line up with manage include:

• Learn to move naturally. Those who live to be 100 rarely engage in rigorous exercise. Instead, they incorporate  walking, gardening, yoga and other less body-stressful movements into their daily routine. Developing a healthy lifestyle free from addiction necessitates learning to move in the world in a new way, in a natural, physically and emotionally pain-free way.
• Slow down. Our culture perpetuates addictive behavior by encouraging lifestyles where multi-tasking, reliance on technology, and instant gratification become packaged in a speedaholic existence. Not so for those who live in blue zones. An important aspect of successful long-term management of addiction is learning to slow down, become conscious of how you spend your time, and align it with what is most important in your life.
• Eat and drink wisely. Food and drink are common objects of addiction, and although abstinence from alcohol is possible, we cannot stop our relationship with food. The same goes for those who struggle with sexual addiction. It is not possible to remain abstinent from sex, we are sexual beings by nature and healing requires finding healthy ways to express our sexuality. The key is moderation, balance, and of course, eating more fruits and vegetables. Red wine has also been shown to increase longevity, but if it creates more problems than benefits (e.g., abuse, relapse) it should not be on your list.

Resolve
There are some life problems that we should not manage, but solve, permanently. Homelessness, debt, acute pain, many developmental constrictions/deficits, legal problems, and suicide ideation. None of these things are healthy to manage over a long period of time, and our work should focus on resolution. Two significant problems most addicts need to resolve are lonliness and isolation. The key that lines-up with resolve is:

• Be Connected to Others. Those who live the longest put family and loved ones first. They belong to communities that nurture and protect each other. Many share their spiritual faith in community, and hang out with people that have healthy habits, both physical and emotional. I have written a lot about how the essence of solving the problem of addiction is disconnecting from object-relationships and learning to engage in healthy, intimate connections with people. But to do this very often requires resolving barriers to human relationships. These barriers include unresolved trauma that lead to isolation, developmental stuck points, and debilitating shame and grief. This work is not easy, but necessary for relationships to blossom.

Create
Many who struggle with addiction spend all their time on the pathological side of the equation. Treatments, interventions, fixes, cures, treatments….all intended to reduce or stop addictive behavior. This stuff is important, but at the same time it needs to be integrated with actions that optimize life.  Sometimes taking a break from intervening on addictive behavior and directing energy to what we want out of life can actually produce the outcomes we seek. Those who live in blue zones:

• Have a clear purpose. They call it “ikigai” – the reason for which you wake-up in the morning. If your ikigai is that you don’t want to drink, smoke,  or act-out today, well…this is not a very compelling reason to get out of bed, it just gets you to focus on what you don’t want! The key is redirecting your life energy towards creating what you do want.

For additional information on blue zones, checkout the author’s website: bluezones and the book.